The Twins of the Father

There’s been a fascinating and seasonal legal case developing at home this month which I thought you might like to hear about. The case was brought by Lauren (“the Plaintiff”) and facing her across the courtroom is the formidable legal mind of Hannah (“the Defence”). Sitting in session is Judge Dad. The case concerns two chocolate advent calendars purchased by the Plaintiff and the Defence in November 2008.

The substance of the Plaintiff’s case is that, subsequent to the purchase of the two calendars, it was discovered that the Plaintiff’s calendar (Milky Bar-themed) has only 24 doors, whilst the Defence’s calendar (High School Musical) has 25. The Plaintiff is therefore requesting an extra chocolate on 25 December to address this shortcoming.

The Defence’s argument (presented in the most robust of terms) is that this is “well not fair”, since both calendars were selected through free choice and in the absence of duress. The Defence finds it plainly unacceptable that the Plaintiff should subsequently request special treatment in respect of circumstances which, it might reasonably be argued, she brought entirely on herself.

The Judge, after careful deliberation and consultation with his judicial colleague Judge Mum, ruled in favour of the Plaintiff and ordered the court to obtain a packet of Cadbury’s Chocolate Buttons and distribute one such to the Plaintiff on 25 December.

The Defence leapt to its feet to object but was swiftly overruled by Judge Dad who was running late for work.

However, subsequent investigations carried out by the Defence as part of the appeals process have revealed an intriguing twist which was not disclosed to the court at the time of the original case. Looking at the back of each calendar it was discovered that the Plaintiff’s (24-door) calendar has a net weight of 85g, whilst the Defence’s (25-door) calendar has a net weight of only 80g. The Defence has therefore mounted a dramatic counterclaim, stating that not only should the original ruling in favour of the Plaintiff be overturned, but it should be reversed, with the award now directed towards the Defence.

There followed unruly scenes, during which the Judge was obliged to clear the court.

The Plaintiff is currently preparing its appeal case and is thought to be considering a “well not fair” plea: controversial, to say the least, in light of the line taken in its original prosecution.

The Judge is currently ensconced in his chambers, searching the Internet for one-way tickets to Mexico.