Hannah and Lauren revealed an amazing secret to me today: their five-level heirarchy of Getting Dressed Speeds. Ranked in order, these are:
- Slow
- Wide
- Fast
- Smart
- Zoom
Rather than defining each one precisely the girls offered rather scattered titbits of information, a bit like one of those logic puzzles where you get mismatching information about a range of items and have to work out the rest. What I now know is the following:
- Wide is really slow, y’know, a bit dawdle-donkey, like with messing about and stuff.
- Slow is just lying on the floor daydreaming.
- Zoom is the fastest, where you just get dressed and no talking.
- Smart is faster than Fast but you’re allowed a bit of talking.
- Fast is what they normally do. (Note: I would never have chosen the word “fast” to describe it.)
- If you want to go to disco dancing after school on a Friday you have to do Zoom or Smart.
- This morning Lauren did Zoom but there is some disagreement over whether Hannah did Zoom or Smart.
- I definitely heard both of them talking.
- The whole system therefore appears dangerously corrupt.
Don’t tell them, but they’re going disco dancing anyway. It buys us a whole hour of peace and quiet.
Apparently, I am stuck in the WIDE category, forever changing diapers and onesies on two little girls. :-)Great post.
Alan
That’s the best definition of ’slow’ I’ve heard in a while. I will introduce it at work, I think, as in, I’m going to do this slowly…and lie on the floor.
I like the idea of disco buying you the hour’s peace and quiet, I look back fondly at the days before Emily dropped out of disco and Melissa dropped out of ballet, so we still have to go to both but they couldn’t possibly do the same. Oh well. Brownies is good though - an hour and a half and it’s only a quid!
I like “dawdle-donkey”. I shall now bring it into conversation at every opportunity.
A colleague was being particulatly Tigger-ish and bouncy the other day. When we commented on this she said “I know, I’m giddy as a kipper”. That was a new one on me but I thought I’d bring it to a wider audience
A