I knew this whole Grease thing was a bad idea.
Hannah and Lauren are having an unexpected day off today due to a burst water main at school. We’ve also brought one of their class mates home with us, so I’m working upstairs while the three girls play in the living room.
I just went to check on them and, of course, they are watching Grease. Their friend bounded across the room and grabbed my hand.
“Mark! Mark!” she shouted, “Isn’t it right that you need to have sex to have a baby?”
Hannah and Lauren looked on with wide-eyed curiosity.
“Erm… what… well…” I explained.
“My mummy told me,” she continued. “I know what having sex is, but don’t worry, I won’t tell them.”
I have now escaped to the spare room upstairs where I’m sitting with the door closed, typing this and planning my next move. Frankly, I’m terrified. They’re only six! This is all Travolta’s fault. Would sex have reared its ugly head if they’d been watching Wallace and Gromit? Of course not.
Oh hell, someone’s coming up the stairs. Perhaps I can climb out of the window and make my escape? Help!!
Good luck!
Oh my goodness. At 6? Really? I was thinking the worst thing that could happen would be a friend telling my girls that there was no Santa Claus… not about the birds and the bees.
I’m shocked. Feel free to visit my blog at: http://coultertwins.blogspot.com
AJC
Something tells me you shouldn’t be reading this, Alan! I’m sure it would have panicked me a bit at that stage too.
Nice blog - the twins are looking healthy and I hope you’re having fun. Be warned though: the road ahead is long and rocky, and littered with awkward questions about animals’ private parts, and whether that lady in front of you in the queue is wearing a wig. Tread with care.
When I was 8 a girl I used to play out with told me that ladies had eggs. I scoffed, as everyone knows that only birds lay eggs. Not ladies.
My friend’s son asked a little girl who came for tea to have sex with him, when he was seven. It wouldn’t have been so bad but when she told me about it, I turned it into a story for The Independent.
Like you I prefer to escape. My partner clings on to a belief that our girls won’t be interested in such carryings on until they are at least 20, I daren’t tell him that I saw an “expert” on TV last week saying that if you found out your 14 year-old daughter was planning contraception, you should applaud her for being ‘responsible.’
Gulp. We had one of Melissa’s friends to our house for tea the other week and she told me that Bad Girls was ‘cool’.
The girl is seven - I didn’t think it had been on for 12 months! I think I could just about cope now with questions about the s-word but I’m not sure I can handle the goings on at Larkhall!
All the best - good luck
Linda
Oh Mark…oh oh oh…I just don’t even know what to say….lol
I don’t mention too much in my own blog but I do have a 15 year old step son and I work with young children…so I have heard it all and more than you can imagine…lol
Time for the talk.
Out of all seriousness there is a great book that will give you the strength and confidence to handle the questions that should come flying your way at any moment. I will hunt down a link for you. Its a Canadian Book, but I am sure you can order it online if it appeals to you.
I should kick myself for reading your post and having a bit of a laugh….its all gonna come biting me in the rear end sooner than later.
Good luck,
Carol
Here’s a funny story I thought I’d share with you. I’m a preschool teacher from a small Australian community and we had a local wedding one weekend. The following Monday at preschool, we were talking to the children about weddings and what we do when we get married (ie. go to church and say we love each other). One 4yr old piped up and said, “I know what grown ups do when they get married.” Cringing, I asked what. She replied very proud of herself, “They have sex!” While picking my jaw up off the floor, another child asked with lightning speed, “what’s that?” To which the first little girl replied, “It’s when you take off all your clothes and cuddle.”
Needless to say I changed the conversation so fast any observer would have gotten a nose bleed. Well I didn’t think any more of it until the following week when a mother of another little girl from that group confronted me. She said, “When Kirsty came home from Preschool last week, I asked her what she had learnt that day. She said, ‘I learnt what sex is.’” At this point I would have been quite happy for the floor to swallow me whole! She continued,”I asked her what it was and she told me that it was when two people that love each other take their clothes off and cuddle. I was okay with that, but when she came out to me about half and hour later, stark naked, I did begin to worry. I asked her what she was doing and she said, ‘I want to have sex with you mummy.’” To which the mother replied, “NO! NO! NO! Children definately do not have sex with their mummy’s or daddy’s and absolutely do not have sex at least until you’re my age!” She was 35 at the time.
LOL! Thanks for the support and stories, everyone! Larissa, yours reminded me of the time one of my niece’s class mates told everyone her mummy likes to lie on the floor naked and let the dog lick her all over. Turns out they didn’t even have a dog, but by that time the damage was done.