Apologies if that last post sounded a bit bleak. Southendcockneyboy has just cheered me up immensely with this piercing bit of what the BBC is calling “debate”:
Get in there! United, United!
Seasoned commentators including Christopher Hitchens, George Monbiot and all those smart-arses with their blogs have so far been unforthcoming with a counterpoint, so compelling is Southendcockneyboy’s argument.
Nothing cheers me up like a good bit of debate.
We put the kids to bed, had a cup of tea and then watched some telly, but at least we didn’t dress up as a toolbar.
For Halloween, eighteen of us dressed up as the different parts of the Toolbar itself.
- Google blog
I hoped at first that it might be some weird new euphemism, but I’ve now come to the conclusion that they actually dressed as a toolbar.
This morning I have been mostly flinging the sloppy leather yam. You know, “burying the ol’ Nantucket flying pencil”. Roasting the lucky chicken.
etc.
“Everyone is allowed to dance, with hikings shoes or sneakers”, told us Jürgen Stoll, renter of the Wank Hut.
Dance on the Wank website.
What can I add to that? This one sort of writes its own punchline.
I know, posting another TV advert off YouTube is a no substitute for proper blogging, but what the heck, it’s got Mr T in it.
(There’s a YouTube video here that you may not see in a feed reader. If it’s not there, try the website instead.)
Next time you’re writing a cheque for your licence fee, remember to seal it with a kiss for people like Chris Lake, expert on the cost of sending e-mails:
The cost of sending 1.8 million e-mails is about £6,000, estimates Chris Lake, editor of E-consultancy.com which advises people on internet strategy.
“Last week I had lunch with someone who sends out 180,000 a week as a newsletter, which cost him £600,” he says. “That would make it £6,000, but it could be much less or much more. Plus there are the resources to craft it and put it together.”
There are lots of variables so we can’t be sure, he says.
Thank God he had lunch with another idiot in time, otherwise where would we be now? Sheer guesswork from some pillock, that’s where. Imagine that.
I don’t know why they didn’t go straight to Guy Goma.
I’ve just had a very enticing offer by e-mail. I can’t say too much in case someone steals my contact and beats me to the readies, suffice to say it was from a MRS CAROLINW (sic) WOZIMM, a good Christian lady from Nigeria who is rather sadly dying from “the cancer of the lungs”. To cut a very long story short, the unfortunate woman has a $9,000,000 inheritance to invest and wants me to have 25% of it! 5% will go on expenses, which sounds reasonable, and the remaining 70% “will be for the work of GOD”, which I have to say I find rather humbling.
All I need to send her is my bank account details and the money’s mine! She doesn’t even tell me how she knows me, but I’m guessing our great-grandfathers knew each other in the Boer war or something. That’s how I understand it usually happens.
Needless to say I can’t believe my luck. This time next week I’ll be obscenely rich and can finally wave a fond farewell to this fucking blog. Honestly, it’s been a pauper’s game, and never a word of thanks. Good riddance to the lot of you.
Amazon should ban people from leaving comments and ratings before a product is actually available. This would seem to me to be plain common sense. I mean honestly, just look at some of this crap:
It’ll be amazingness unrivalled!
It’ll be impossible for it to be bad – this is Harry Potter we’re talking about, guys, haha … it’s going to be GREAT! No question.
I know of many other people who are sure that Harry Potter and the ???????? will deserve five stars, to find them just type “harry potter fan fiction” into google. I got 1,950,000 results and its probably still growing. click on any harry potter fan fiction site, an look at the lists of authors. Probably every single person there is of the opinion that book 7 will deserve 5 stars and will rate it accordingly as and when it comes out.
I’m very tempted to give five stars to it, because it’s bound to be great, but it wouldn’t be ABSOLUTELY honest, would it? So i tried just not to rate it, but that’s not allowed. SO, i have to resort to giving it 5 stars…
And just for balance:
dont get me wrong
the book will get five stars from me it will be awsome but the title will get zero
Grade-A nuts, the lot of them. They should be taken out and shot, or at least taught how to spell and punctuate.
Update: More Potter lunacy, this time from Royal Mail. Don’t be surprised when you hear your local post office is closing down this spring. The postal services have spending priorities just like everyone else, it’s just that theirs are informed by the logic of a madman.
Blogrot favourite NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown continues to deliver on its public service remit with a penetrating round-up of mince pie offerings from the major UK retailers.
The attention to detail is, as ever, quite staggering:
The reflections in the silver foil put me in mind of Terminator 2.
A Merry Christmas to both our readers!
Just spent £5 on 60 minutes of hot-spot wi-fi action in a hotel room. Here’s what I’ve chosen to do with this wondrous gift:
If anyone has any better ideas please can you mail them to me in the next 14 minutes?
Here’s something for you to have a play with because I know you only come here when you’re bored. Click the mouse as you go.
(There’s a flash object here that you won’t see on the RSS feed. Visit the website instead.)
Or you can go large at jacksonpollock.org.
Seen today on the BBC News:
Lead story: Scores seized from Baghdad office
Also in the news: Giant truffle snapped up for £85,000
Really puts things into perspective, doesn’t it? I mean, who wants to read about stolen sheet music when some Chinese lunatic has just spent the price of a new Jag on a fungus that looks like the Elephant Man’s head?
Get over yourselves, BBC.
I just signed up for MySpace – not for one of their poxy horrible “blog” things, you understand, purely for experimentation purposes. Anyway, you’ve got to admire their efforts to keep the web free of colour blind people. Just imagine that – the colour blind preying on your kiddies and everything. It’s enough to make the flesh creep.
Update: It’s all a con! Celebrity colour blind Dairy-Arse is on there! I take it all back: MySpace is a nest of vipers. The colour blind are EVERYWHERE. Be vigilant.
Dairy-Arse hatching his evil colour blind plans online yesterday.
It is with regret and great sadness that blogrot announces the withdrawal of AOS (Any Old Shite), its revolutionary new information service for the 21st century and beyond.
Can it really be mere coincidence that just one day after the launch of AOS, His Lord Sir Professor Tim Berners-Lee, inventor of computers and the internet, chose to warn of the dangers of misinformation spreading via blogs??
There is a great danger that [the internet] becomes a place where untruths start to spread more than truths.
Well duh! That’s the whole point, Tim! For that glorious 24 hours they were like putty in my hand! Here’s how it works, OK: you get your knighthood, then you keep your nose out of other people’s business and give the rest of us a fair crack of the whip. This is people’s livelihoods you’re playing with here.
AOS orders dried up literally over night.
Smug git.
Quick! Ooh! Everyone get over-excited! Google’s buying a SPACESHIP! Let’s run around squealing! Let’s call it Space 2.0! Ooh, I like that! Let’s tell everyone! Googlegooglegoogle!
I hope you’ll forgive my scepticism, I’ve had a long day. Plus I’ve managed to get hold of a photo of what’s really going on inside Google’s secret hangar, “Building 43″.
UPDATE: DROP EVERYTHING AGAIN! AMAZON’S BOUGHT ONE TOO!
