Category Archives: Movies

B-dum tish! (Part 4)

Zombie movies are so in these days: we’ve got fast zombies, comeback zombies, even zombie rom-coms – the whole shebang.

Amazingly, though, bitrot has spotted a niche in this seemingly saturated market: the period zombie movie. Think about it: people love period movies… everyone loves zombie movies… it’s a combination to die and then come back from the dead for. As you read this I’m making a joint pitch of my script to George A. Romero and Merchant/Ivory. Watch out for it on a billboard near you: Anthony Hopkins and Judi Dench, plus a load of white-eyed extras, in… The Day of the Remains.

Two political videos

The Internet is the spiritual home of the weird amateur crossover video, but today I think I’ve come across two of the weirdest: a commentary on UK ID cards in the style of Gilbert and Sullivan and yet another Star Wars pastiche… but this one using the Rebel Alliance as a metaphor for organic produce.

A bit of leg

A bit of legThis is insane: a bloke who’s building his own life-sized R2-D2. So far he’s done the legs. I can’t help wondering if he gave up at that point after George Lucas suddenly equipped those same legs with rocket boosters in Attack of the Clones. That’ll teach the nerdy little twat, George probably thought. He should be out driving fast cars and chasing girls, goddammit! Now where did I put that modelling cement…?

But I digress. I’m sure I’m right though. George keeps an eye on these things, you mark my words. If our plucky hobbyist manages to work his way around this one, expect R2-D2 to suddenly be made of liquid metal and be able to morph into a desk lamp at will in time for Revenge of the Sith.

“moral confusion leading to coping skill friction and decision making aberrations”

Good Lord, what could be responsible for such wholesale detriment to our vulnerable youngsters? Why, The Incredibles of course! An erstwhile favourite of this site, blogrot now sees the film for what it is: a shocking bacchanalia of impudence, hate, violence, bottom-smacking and “dressing to maximize the [cartoon] female form and/or skin exposure“.

That link again: “dressing to maximize the [cartoon] female form and/or skin exposure“.

That’s Ent-ertainment

We all know it can sometimes feel like Christmas is becoming more and more commercialised, more bloated with tat, less about kindness to our fellow man and more about getting the last shite hyped toy in town at any cost. So it’s good to see that, in this golden age of consumerism, some of the old traditions,Tat-o-rama! the ones born out of the most essential human values, still remain.

I am, of course, referring to the two-storey singing Christmas tree at the Trafford Centre.

If you’ve got a stomach for the sort of things nightmares are made of, you can see a small video of this Tat-o-rama Spectacular here. (Requires a recent version of RealPlayer or QuickTime.)