Have police established Freddie Starr’s movements on the night in question?

You know that bloke who killed all those people 20 years ago, yeah?

You know his wife, right?

You know her guinea pig?

It’s dead.

This, according to the Sun, is the biggest story in Britain today.

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I mean, seriously. What about the canoe guy? What about Diana and Dodi? What about that nice bachelor man who gave all that money to that nice Mr Brown? About these pressing issues the Sun cares not one jot.

The country has truly gone to hell in a hand-cart, and to be honest it wasn’t even much of a hand-cart. The country has gone to hell in a wheelbarrow.