I was in half a mind to bring Tesco’s sorry arrangement of bananas to the attention of the authorities today. Greener than Kermit’s left bollock, the whole damn lot of them.

But then I stopped and thought: what right do I, an Englishman, have to demand yellow bananas in February?

I wish I had a wider point to make here about globalisation or the environmental impact of air freight, but I don’t really. I just thought it was interesting, the whole thing with the bananas.