This could be the break I’ve been waiting for

I’ve just had a very enticing offer by e-mail. I can’t say too much in case someone steals my contact and beats me to the readies, suffice to say it was from a MRS CAROLINW (sic) WOZIMM, a good Christian lady from Nigeria who is rather sadly dying from “the cancer of the lungs”. To cut a very long story short, the unfortunate woman has a $9,000,000 inheritance to invest and wants me to have 25% of it! 5% will go on expenses, which sounds reasonable, and the remaining 70% “will be for the work of GOD”, which I have to say I find rather humbling.

All I need to send her is my bank account details and the money’s mine! She doesn’t even tell me how she knows me, but I’m guessing our great-grandfathers knew each other in the Boer war or something. That’s how I understand it usually happens.

Needless to say I can’t believe my luck. This time next week I’ll be obscenely rich and can finally wave a fond farewell to this fucking blog. Honestly, it’s been a pauper’s game, and never a word of thanks. Good riddance to the lot of you.