I’m off to a stag do in Leeds this weekend. Below is a list of challenges set before the groom-to-be by his best man. I apologise if you find any of this offensive. I certainly do. In fact, I’m thinking of not going.
- Eat a vindaloo
- Wear fancy dress to the cricket – outfit to be arranged by the best man
- Get a picture with either a member of the emergency services or a tramp
- Down a pint of Whitelocks (real ale bar) strongest ale in one
- Get a kiss off a blonde, brunette, redhead, short haired and long haired woman (no tongues)
- Acquire an item of female underwear (Best bet for this is a trade with a hen on a hen night so my advice is to wear some old grollies that you don’t mind losing)
- Use the following chat up lines at least 3 times on different birds
- Do you the difference between a Big Mac and a blow job? No? Fancy meeting up for lunch tomorrow?
- Reckon I could snatch a kiss tonight? Or even better vice versa?
- Lets play Titanic – when I shout “iceberg” you go down
- Go into a small newsagents and ask them if they sell fridge freezers, when they look at you as if you are stupid or say no, say what about Washer dryers then? Leave quickly before they call the police.
- Walk up to the receptionist at the hotel, say you just put £2 in the condom machine in the gents and it didn’t work and could she sort you out.
NB The suggestion of the groom walking into a bar holding a Cornish pasty above his head shouting “I’ve got a bomb!” failed to make the list on account of its likelihood of him getting arrested.
I’ll report back soon.