It’s OK, nobody panic: she’s still dead

I had an anxious moment today, passing the news cube at Tesco’s, when it looked like the Daily Express had abandoned its tireless quest to uncover the truth behind Princess Diana’s murder by Mossad/Prince Phillip/MI5/the 12-foot lizards. But on closer inspection there it was, just a bit less prominent than usual.

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From “The Daily Express: The World’s Greatest Newspaper