I respect the Mormons for doing a great job of creating good citizens. Whatever they’re doing seems to be working. You rarely hear about a gang of violent Mormons terrorizing a town. But must I also respect their practice of wearing special underpants to ward off evil?
It’s a good question – perhaps one of the big questions, in fact. My own opinion is that anyone who wears “special underpants” – for whatever reason, sacred or secular – automatically commands a certain amount of respect. But that’s just my view and you’re free to challenge it, which I think is sort of the point Scott is making.
When I was at junior school, a boy who we’ll call Benny used to wear special brown underpants from Littlewoods. In his case it was due to his frequent and uncontrolled bouts of diarrhoea, the after-effects of which were better disguised when changing for P.E. by wearing pre-browned grundies. Even at that young age I noticed that this wearing of special underpants seemed to generate a kind of mystical aura, often reflected in the circle of empty desks that were left around him as a sign of respect.
Anyway, enough of this talking in metaphors. What I’m saying here (in part two of my Easter Underwear Address) is: respect other people’s underpants and all other kinds of underwear, and Happy Easter.