More chocolate than a biscuit

Plenty of chocolate, and not lacking in biscuit, but exact proportions unclearI’m blogging this whilst making my way through a packet of biscuits. Today’s biscuits of choice are Bahlsen Choco Leibniz, Orange Milk Chocolate Edition. They’re truly a triumph of German engineering, on a par with the VW Golf or the Bosch cordless drill. My only gripe is the slogan on the front of the packet: “More chocolate than a biscuit”. I find it troublingly ambiguous, possibly meaning any of the following:

  1. Each unit contains proportionally more chocolate content than biscuit content. (In which case it should be “more chocolate than biscuit”, surely? And I’m not entirely sure it’s true either.)
  2. Each unit contains more chocolate than “a biscuit” – i.e. it is statistically more chocolatey than some notional “standard” biscuit. (But what would such a standard be? Do they have Rich Tea in Germany? What if the standard is a Bourbon biscuit? Perhaps the DIN could be of assistance on this one?)
  3. A more literary usage: the Choco Leibniz is “more chocolate than a biscuit”, in the sense that Darth Vader was said to be “more machine now than man”. (But surely that would place them in the chocolate aisle in Sainsbury’s, along with the Kit-Kats, Clubs and the like, rather than on the biscuit aisle where I found them?)
  4. Some fourth, untranslatable meaning that sounds great in German but rubbish in English – a kind of “Vorsprung durch Biscuit”. (In which case, why translate it? Don’t they know that’s what makes Audis appear classy?)

Still, it’s a minor drawback to what is a superb biscuit. If I was given a choice between a life without Choco Leibniz biscuits, and a life as some half-human blubberous mass being levered in through the doors of the Jerry Springer show, I can’t honestly say I’d choose the former.

Biscuit eaters of the world unite! We have nothing to lose but our mobility!

3 thoughts on “More chocolate than a biscuit

  1. The German Choco Leibniz website claims that they are “knackfrisch im Biss und schokolecker” if this helps at all.

  2. I particularly like the chocolate overhang on these biscuits, allowing one to work around the biscuit chipping off the chocolate along the edges. This has the unintended benefit of resolving the ambiguity surrounding this confection; once you’ve finished it is most defintely more biscuit than chocolate, whichever way you look at it.

  3. Yes, “overhang” is a splendid description. What you’ve described there is actually the official method for eating a Choco Leibniz:

    Obviously the first thing to do when eating one is to remove the frill of chocolate with your incisors. Having done so you can hold the biscuit securely without getting chocolately fingers.

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