The BBC has outdone itself again with another piss-poor effort to accompany today’s smoking ban vote in parliament. I particularly like the “Your Choice” brand and confidently predict that by this time next week “the kids” will be smoking them in private members’ clubs up and down the land.

But what does it all mean? Blogrot asked some prominent experts to comment on the significance of the BBC’s illustrative masterpiece:

Gumboldt von Freud, psychoanalyst
It means zat ze cigarettes, zey are beegger zan parliament itself, no?

Kenneth Clarke, tobacconist
Bar workers? Bah, think of the profits. Double scotch please.

Tarquin Funtt, advertising executive
Brilliant use of parallax. See how the packet of cigarettes (each one of them a representation of the DICK) draws the attention towards the Big Ben tower, standing erect like one huge great DICK. Fact: dicks sell. Christ, I want a cigarette.

Dr John Reid, Defense Secretary
Smoking is one of the few pleasures left to the work… Hold on, let me see that again. That’s just across the river. Taxi!

Cynthia Barrington, Daily Mail reader
This is so confusing. I thought asylum seekers killed bar workers?