Think of a musical, written for the stage. Not just any old musical: think of a musical devoted to our national wonky-headed treasure, Diana, Queen Of All Our Hearts™*.

Now imagine the music that would feature in that show. Try to capture the complex harmonies of a turbulent life torn between skiing trips and gala dinners. The minor key of the divorced young mother, mingled with the rising major chord of posessing The Face That Launched A Thousand (tacky pieces of) Shit, then resolving back to minor as her trusted butler goes doolally, sells all her undies to the News of the World and eats kangaroo’s testicles on national TV.

Try to imagine capturing all this not in music of your own making, but in existing works: music with emotional baggage already attached. From the noble pantheon of British musical heritage, try to pick two artists whose work combines to ooze the essence of Diana. Whose combined genius unleashes a synergy of emotion not experienced since the Outpouring of National Grief™.

If you’re imagining Robert Smith and Sir Edward Elgar, you’re not alone.

* (apart from Charles’s, of course – he prefers that tranny who won the Turner Prize)